


I'm Not Okay

by Cael1004



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 21:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7405219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cael1004/pseuds/Cael1004
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Himchan is nervous and Yongguk is attractive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Okay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Quackyeon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quackyeon/gifts).



> Prompt Fill:
> 
> 'You're my tattoo artist, and I'm a little bit nervous, so you hold my hand the whole time to make sure I'm okay' au

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Himchan muttered to herself, earning strange looks from the other people on the street. She’d been standing in front of a small diner for about half an hour, twirling a strand of her long blonde hair, and the family inside looked annoyed at her for blocking the view.

Not that there really was much of a view to begin with. The sidewalk was littered with garbage and the small shops – that probably used to be pretty and colourful – had dirty walls and chipped paint. The diner itself looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned in weeks and the food looked borderline inedible.

But, the diner wasn’t why Himchan had come to the place; she came for the shop next to it, a tattoo parlour. It didn’t look as bad as most of the other stores – the walls were clean and none of the LED signs were busted – yet it looked about as sketchy as all the others did.

It wasn’t that Himchan really wanted a tattoo, but her friends insisted on it since they thought she was ‘too boring.’ Of course, she took offence to that and told them she’d do it, just for the sake of proving them wrong.

Now that she was here, though, she seriously contemplated going back and telling her friends she couldn’t do it. Or maybe she could just fool them with a fake tattoo. But then again, she thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad and seeing her friends look shocked and impressed would be pretty sweet.

So, before she could change her mind, she walked over to the door and pushed it open. Right away, the bright lights blinded her and the coldness of the room was jarring. As her eyes adjusted, she looked around the room and saw that it was empty save for two women: one behind the counter, and the other holding a tattoo gun.

The woman she assumed to be the receptionist spared her a glance and then went back to reading her magazine, and the tattoo artist didn’t even look at her.

Himchan tried not to be offended as she cleared her throat in order to get one of them to notice her, but it got progressively harder when she saw that the receptionist was blatantly ignoring her. It must have shown on her face as the receptionist’s mouth curved slightly upwards and the blonde realized that she was intentionally trying to piss her off.

Just as Himchan was about to march over to her and complain, she realized that the tattoo artist was looking at her.

The really attractive tattoo artist.

Himchan wouldn’t say she was attracted to bad girls – she’d actually only dated a girl once, and she was the farthest from ‘bad’ as a person could be – but there was something about the purple-haired girl’s dark gaze that captivated her.

Not to mention the low cut tank top that clearly showed two things: one, the tattoo artist was well-endowed and two, she had a tattoo that went from beneath her collarbones to well below the collar of her shirt. Himchan could only make out two words ‘viva’ and ‘la.’

When Himchan looked up, she saw that the tattoo artist was looking at her with an amused smile. Now, being pretty cute herself, Himchan didn’t find a lot of people cute, but the way purple-haired female’s gums showed as she smiled made her smile back. It was an awkward smile and she knew instinctively that her palms were as sweaty as if she had been wearing gloves on a hot summer day.

Wiping her hands on her jeans, Himchan stammered, “I’m– I’m here to get a tattoo?” The statement sounding more like a question with how nervous she was. While she would have liked to pretend that she was only apprehensive because of the tattoo, the presence of the attractive tattoo artist was definitely not helping her nerves.

The woman behind the counter, a redhead with thick lips and a small mole under her eye that Himchan could just barely make out, raised an eyebrow. Her nametag read ‘Daehyun’ and Himchan could see a tattoo on her wrist. The tattoo was simple; capital letters spelling ‘hold,’ but Himchan could tell that it held great meaning as the redhead unconsciously caressed it gently.

“Okay, hmm.” She looked around the room. “Hey, Jae, you take this one.” Turning back to Himchan with a smirk, she said, “looks like a screamer, just like you were when you got your first tattoo.”

A scoff came from another woman who emerged from what Himchan thought was the back room. The black-haired woman didn’t look like she had any tattoos, but from what ‘Daehyun’ said, she must have had at least one.

“How ‘bout you go fuck off, Daehyun. You know that little runt, Joohong or Junhan or whatever her name is, made an appointment and specifically requested for me. Says when I do it, it’s painless. Shows how good I am.” As she was speaking, she tied her hair into a bun and her shirt hiked up to reveal a tattoo on the small of the woman’s back. What it was of, Himchan couldn’t see.

Now ‘Daehyun’ scoffed. “I think she’s just sucking up to you.” She turned to face the black-haired female. “Thinks she’ll get a discount if she keeps showing you her toned stomach. Guess she doesn’t know that you see mine all the damn time,” she winked.

“To be fair, her stomach is pretty toned. More than yours, anyway.” At this, the redhead faked a look of hurt.

“C’mon, babe, don’t pretend that you don’t dream of this,” she gestured at herself, “every night.”

‘Jae’ rolled her eyes. “Anyway, get Jongup to do it. God knows she needs the practice.” Himchan’s eyes widened at the thought of being tattooed by a newbie, but just as she was about to voice out her concern, she was interrupted by a laugh.

It came from the attractive tattoo artist, who was apparently named ‘Yongguk.’ “Jongup’s off today, Youngjae. Here, I’ll do it.” She reached for a pair of thin, black gloves and put them on before gesturing for Himchan to come over.

Himchan shuffled over to ‘Yongguk,’ her long, blonde hair swishing behind her. In her hand, she held a sketch of a small flower which would later be etched permanently into her body. Himchan had no artistic talent whatsoever so she had to ask her friend, Leo, to draw it for her. It was simple, but elegant, and that was the way she wanted it.

The idea of getting a tattoo wasn’t even hers, she’d been coerced into it by her other friends, who claimed that she should ‘go and live a little.’ The mere thought made the blonde roll her eyes. She wasn’t a boring person by her standards, but apparently she was by her friends’ standards. Whatever.

A small cough brought her out of her thoughts. Himchan saw the purple-haired woman holding out an outstretched hand and gave the piece of paper. In return, she also received a piece of paper that she saw was a health and safety waiver, which she looked over and then signed.

“A flower, huh?” ‘Yongguk’ smiled at her. “Pretty good, did you do this?”

Himchan shook her head, “Nah, my friend drew it. She is really good.” Yongguk was just looking at her, as if she expected the blonde to say something. “Uh, it’s a gladiolus. It represents strength, which is, yeah, sort of cheesy because of ‘Himchan’ meaning strength and…” she trailed off awkwardly.

She must have looked worried, because Yongguk smiled at her again. “I’ll do it justice, Himchan.” The other woman paused, before asking, “So, where d’you want the tattoo?”

“My arm,” Himchan answered, too quickly, and Yongguk’s brows furrowed slightly. “I know it’s a risk; most people are prejudiced against tattoos and it might be hard for me to get a job after I finish college but…”

The purple-haired woman shook her head, saying that it was fine. The two of them headed over to a table with what looked like sketching materials, and Yongguk began tracing over the flower, intermittently asking Himchan whether she liked how it looked. When she finished, Himchan thought it looked better than what Leo drew, but she wasn’t going to tell her friend that. An angry Leo was not a fun Leo.

Afterwards, Yongguk told her to sit down on the tattoo chair, placing the stencil over her arm and transferring the sketch onto her skin. Yongguk said it would take a few hours since the design was detailed and colourful, and Himchan took out a pack of gummies and a bottle of water from her bag. She’d intensively researched about getting a tattoos and focusing on the advice people had offered.

Upon seeing the tattoo gun, Himchan’s face paled. She didn’t think it would look so imposing, but there it was, a pointed metallic object about as big as her hand. The blonde’s throat ran dry and she considered just leaving and never coming back.

Her panic must have shown in her face because the tattoo artist laughed, a hearty laugh that made Himchan’s cheeks redden. Normally, she’d be offended, but there was something about the woman’s damn gummy smile that made her not care at all that she was being laughed at.

“Afraid? It’s your first time, ain’t it?” Yongguk drew the machine closer to Himchan’s face, and she was afraid that the purple-haired female was already going to start tattooing, but her thoughts were interrupted by Yongguk’s voice.

“Here, hold it. It might look mean, but s’not too bad.” Yongguk then explained all the different parts of the machine. Honestly, Himchan didn’t give any fucks about the machine, but the attractive tattoo artist looked even more so with the corner of her mouth upturned in a small smile. So, she listened, occasionally nodding when she thought Yongguk wanted a response.

After Yongguk was finished talking, she flicked a switch and the tattoo gun whirred and sparked to life. The machine was positioned over the stencil on her arm, and lowered with each passing millisecond.

“W-wait!” Himchan stammered, swallowing dryly as the purple-haired woman turned to her. “Could you… hold my hand?” The last few words were almost inaudible but, judging from Yongguk’s face, she heard her.

A warm hand encased her own, calloused and slender, and suddenly Himchan felt inadequate. Before her was a person who was attractive as hell, and here she was, sweaty palms and all, just casually holding her hand.

Except nothing about it was casual – not to Himchan at least. Her heart was beating wildly, and she didn’t know whether it was the fear of the needle piercing her skin and colouring it permanently or the fear of this woman – who she had just met – thinking she was boring and squeamish.

She was still lost in her thoughts when Yongguk spoke. “Hey, it’s your first time. It’s natural for you to be nervous.” Yongguk smiled again. “Trust me, you’ll be fine.” And when Himchan nodded, the tattoo artist started working on her small, intricate flower.

 

It had been a couple of months since Himchan had gotten that very first tattoo and, in that short amount of time, she and Yongguk had become good friends. They would drink together every other week and just talk about mundane things. Somehow, Yongguk even managed to convince her to dye her hair silver, saying that it’d look good.

After the first tattoo turned out spectacularly, Himchan was back in front of the diner, wondering whether she was prepared for another tattoo. She’d drawn the design herself and it was, admittedly, a very rough sketch. She wasn’t particularly gifted when it came to arts and design, but she thought the small dragon turned out pretty well.

Looking at the pieces of paper in her hands, she entered the tattoo parlour. It looked the same as the last time she’d been there, except Daehyun wasn’t at the counter; no one was. Thinking that the shop was closed, she looked to the window and saw that the neon sign was blinking the word “open.”

“Oh, Himchan,” she heard her name being called and turned back to the counter. Yongguk was there, smiling, but she was the only one inside the shop. “The others are out sick. I told them that the food in the fridge was probably spoiled but they didn’t listen.”

Himchan raised an eyebrow. “After what you’ve told me about your co-workers, I would’ve thought Youngjae would have steered clear of the food. Jongup and Daehyun, however… well, I guess that’s to be expected.”

“You’re right. Youngjae passed on the food – she looked pretty grossed out actually. The three of them live in an apartment together and she’s taking care of Jongup and Daehyun.” Yongguk chuckled.

The tattoo artist had dyed her hair as well, and Himchan had to admit that the black hair looked better than the purple. And even though the two of them were friends, she couldn’t deny that she still felt a bit nervous and inadequate when Yongguk was around.

“So, back for another tattoo?” Yongguk snapped her out of her thoughts. The tattoo artist was looking at the papers in Himchan’s hands, and the silver-haired woman gave one of them to her.

Once again, Himchan signed the health forms, and sat on the chair. Yongguk showed her the finished sketch, and once she affirmed that it was what she wanted, the black-haired female asked her where she wanted the tattoo to be.

Taking a deep breath, Himchan replied, “I want it on my stomach.” She was nervous, much more so than the last time she’d been there, and it was for an entirely different reason. Yongguk held her hand.

“My parents are renowned doctors and, naturally, they wanted me to become one too. In high school, I was one of those kids who would do anything for their parents’ approval. So I joined all these clubs and got into all these AP classes. At first, I was fine. The workload was something I could handle.” Her voice trembled. “But, even with all those extracurriculars, my parents still thought it wasn’t enough to get me into the college they wanted.

“Nothing I did was ever enough for them. At the time, I didn’t realize that I could do something that my parents didn’t want. All I could think about was gaining their approval. So I joined even more clubs. It got to the point where I would only get an hour of sleep every night and I was too busy to eat or even relax.

“Of course, that wasn’t good for my health and, in my senior year, I collapsed and had to be hospitalised. The doctors said I had developed stomach ulcers due to stress. I had to get surgery and it left a scar on my stomach.” Himchan looked at Yongguk and squeezed her hand. “So I want the tattoo to go over that scar – not because I’m ashamed of it, but because I feel like I can finally move on from what happened.”

Yongguk smiled at her – a warm and supportive smile – before lifting her shirt and placing the sketch on the part of her stomach that reminded her of her past. When the stencil was on her skin, Yongguk finally spoke.

“What do you think about making the tattoo white instead of black? It’ll be harder but, after listening to what you’ve been through, I think you need a little less darkness in your life, yeah?”

With Himchan’s approval, Yongguk started up the tattoo gun and slowly traced an outline of the dragon. And, after a few minutes of painfully filling in the outline, the tattoo was done. A white dragon whose meaning was so much greater than its size.

Fighting back tears, Himchan thanked Yongguk as the woman placed some plastic wrap on her midsection. The crumpled piece of paper in her hand felt heavier than it did before, and Himchan knew that she had to do it now, or else she’d regret it.

“Yongguk, I want another tattoo,” she said, biting her lip and placing the paper in the tattoo artist’s gloved hands.

The black-haired female looked confused. Unfolding the piece of paper, she said, “I don’t think it’d be good to get another tattoo while–”

She paused, looking at the paper – which had the words ‘I like you’ written on it – quizzically. After a few seconds that seemed like hours to Himchan, Yongguk smiled that beautiful, gummy smile of hers.

“I didn’t think you’d be the type to make the first move,” Yongguk said, before leaning in to kiss a bewildered Himchan. “But I like you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> ...
> 
> I tried really hard to make this work but...
> 
> ...


End file.
